i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
