Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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