My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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