if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
