Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
