Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
