called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
