I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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