WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
