smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
