I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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