My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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