Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
