i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
