i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
