You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
