I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
