I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
