hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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