I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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