just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
