I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
