I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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