I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
