Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
