Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  Leave Me Alone

  (573): View more from Missouri

  At least least me cry on your voice mail

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  (347): Leave Me Alone (573): At least least me cry on your voice mail http://tfl.nu/2wcv
  Replies (14) Good night (563) Bad night (4311)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it

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  (651): This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it http://tfl.nu/dpvg
  Replies (19) Good night (3732) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident

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  (605): I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident http://tfl.nu/4t8c
  Replies (28) Good night (612) Bad night (2582) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store

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  (804): I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store http://tfl.nu/eac9
  Replies (10) Good night (7733) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?

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  (443): Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert? http://tfl.nu/7qpe
  Replies (8) Good night (929) Bad night (2397) Order T-Shirt
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

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  (325): She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised... http://tfl.nu/ztyt
  Replies (38) Good night (3886) Bad night (2119) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.

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  (360): I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience. http://tfl.nu/k7n6
  Replies (12) Good night (4363) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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  (804): Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina. http://tfl.nu/ugq6
  Replies (14) Good night (3137) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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  (360): Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised. http://tfl.nu/xha6
  Replies (45) Good night (1799) Bad night (3692) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.

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  (608): She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party. http://tfl.nu/e28o
  Replies (7) Good night (2448) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar

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  (702): As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar http://tfl.nu/w8o7
  Replies (10) Good night (2745) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.

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  (281): Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'. http://tfl.nu/zfmg
  Replies (15) Good night (1216) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.

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  (508): Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos. http://tfl.nu/qg1c
  Replies (7) Good night (1610) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity

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  (218): He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity http://tfl.nu/7l4i
  Replies (5) Good night (782) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.

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  (307): Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle. http://tfl.nu/2vsv
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt

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