Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first