we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
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Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.