there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.