Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon