you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
