Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
