Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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