I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
