SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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