Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
