Tell her she can't have a vagina
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
