I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
