It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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