Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
