are you still at the devil's house?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
