Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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