Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.