It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!