I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver