She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize