We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.