I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
