Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
