talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
