Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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