I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize