just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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