I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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