the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
