just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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