yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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