Apparently you make a good broom.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
