12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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