I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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