there was a trapeze. enough said
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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