how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
