so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
